Dating with korean girl

24-Jul-2017 12:31

Keep your comments to real observations or reasoned thoughts, not wild prejudice. I hate the word "culture." It's so vaguely defined, often misused, and done so without any thought to the fact that using the word actually means you're not talking about anything specific.Zap, zap, zap will go those comments, because I don't want to let this drag down into that silly conversation that has no end. Has gone to TGI Fridays and walked along the Han River and fallen in love and often laughed, sometimes argued, often just sat around watching movies and talking with... If the newspapers are looking for a scandalous story about how I've actually behaved as a normal, heterosexual male with women of Korean descent in Korea – start the presses! I'm not talking about "culture" in terms of ancient artifacts, or notions that people are essentially apt to behave in any way; I'm talking about patterns: patterns of socialization, patterns of ideological inculcation, patterns of being exposed to certain amounts and kinds of information.I could talk out of my ass and try to include that, but I think it's always better to have people with some experience in certain matters talk about those matters. Because I've seen the same problems crop up with Korean American men dating Korean women as white or black or whatever dudes dating Korean women.And I'm not talking as some "expert" or some post-Chosun-era Casanova, but as a normal man who has had several normal relationships with Korean women. And I've seen personality and happenstance of circumstance mitigate a lot of what I see as real "cultural differences," as well; I know a couple American guys who've married Korean women who are more "traditional" and "family-oriented" in an "old-fashioned" way than many Korean men, who are supposed to be the arbiters of old school thinking.Since I've laid down the ground rules for this discussion as being "prejudicial attacks that are not real discussion" and that such comments will be zapped as fast as they come in, don't be silly and cry "censorship" because I'm not the state, nor a large corporation who owns a media outlet, nor the school principal stifling criticism of one's alma mater. Right now, I feel I'm set up to talk about what is actually not much of a thorny issue, but the real meat and potatoes of some of the problems people often have here when dating Korean women. It's about to get thick with the scent of international intrigue up in here! "CULTURE" In my experience, and in the vicarious experiences I've had through the stories of many others, the main problem with dating Korean women as a non-Korean man is cultural. People still talk about "culture" as if it's written in the blood, written on the skin, or written on one's passport.Feel free to open your own blog on how much interracial dating is problematic, or the white men are stealing all the women in Korea, or how "problematic" whites dating Asians in the US is. I talk about dating Korean women because I haven't gone the other way around, since I'm a) not a woman, and b) don't date men. So, obviously, being "non-Korean" in the way that I see it can include many Korean Americans who have been been born, raised, and educated in the US.Sure, we got folks like that, and people who make mistakes in drunken bouts of bad judgement..Korea doesn't?

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I've rarely seen this much-heralded "white man dupes innocent Korean girl" trope in actual life.

And I've known Korean American men who simply find Korean women endlessly boring – in their estimation – and generally only date other Asian American or other American women. So, the way I see it, the main differences that crop up between American men (and other cultures that happen to be similar to the cultural patterns that are of interest to us here) and Korean women have to do with socialization, i.e.

your experience set and what you're used to, which goes into how you define the world, and how you view the exact same set of circumstances, say, in a relationship. Let's get started breaking this down, and with the knowledge that these are generalizations made for the sake of discussion, as well out of the fact that these issues keep cropping up again and again in the problems I myself have had in my relationships with Korean women, as well as with many, many, myriad, multiple guy stories I've hard from other people in similar relationships.

DISCLAIMERS Now, I'll say from the git-go that this isn't a post about "How to Get Korean Women." I'm no expert on such things, and if you're a foreigner in Korea, you should have no trouble becoming the object of interest for somebody here, especially given the universal element of curiosity, bolstered by the powerful narcotic of largely American media that sets up white masculinity (as well as Western modes of desire) as the standard of beauty itself.

Hence, Joe Schmoe from back home gets called "Brad Pitt" here. I'll also say that I don't buy into the racist assumptions around the issue of international/interracial dating; by virtue of personal experience, observation, and anecdote, the chimera of "white man hoodwinks hapless Korean woman" or "I'm sick of seeing white losers with Korean women above their station as a reflection of the neo-colonial relationship with the United States and a problematic colonized attitude vis a vis whiteness" are usually just longer and less honest ways of pretty much expressing disgust at interracial couples. Basically, if you don't like seeing white men with Korean women AS A RULE, you are making big generalizations and are being racist when you speak/act negatively against them. Yeah, one can quote statistics about "outmarriage" rates or the myriad alleged "wrong reasons" people get into relationships; but I know gentlemen who prefer blondes or redheads, girls who wear skimpy clothes, or just judge women by the size of their mammaries, but you'd have to go and ask about those, right?

I've rarely seen this much-heralded "white man dupes innocent Korean girl" trope in actual life.And I've known Korean American men who simply find Korean women endlessly boring – in their estimation – and generally only date other Asian American or other American women. So, the way I see it, the main differences that crop up between American men (and other cultures that happen to be similar to the cultural patterns that are of interest to us here) and Korean women have to do with socialization, i.e.your experience set and what you're used to, which goes into how you define the world, and how you view the exact same set of circumstances, say, in a relationship. Let's get started breaking this down, and with the knowledge that these are generalizations made for the sake of discussion, as well out of the fact that these issues keep cropping up again and again in the problems I myself have had in my relationships with Korean women, as well as with many, many, myriad, multiple guy stories I've hard from other people in similar relationships.DISCLAIMERS Now, I'll say from the git-go that this isn't a post about "How to Get Korean Women." I'm no expert on such things, and if you're a foreigner in Korea, you should have no trouble becoming the object of interest for somebody here, especially given the universal element of curiosity, bolstered by the powerful narcotic of largely American media that sets up white masculinity (as well as Western modes of desire) as the standard of beauty itself.Hence, Joe Schmoe from back home gets called "Brad Pitt" here. I'll also say that I don't buy into the racist assumptions around the issue of international/interracial dating; by virtue of personal experience, observation, and anecdote, the chimera of "white man hoodwinks hapless Korean woman" or "I'm sick of seeing white losers with Korean women above their station as a reflection of the neo-colonial relationship with the United States and a problematic colonized attitude vis a vis whiteness" are usually just longer and less honest ways of pretty much expressing disgust at interracial couples. Basically, if you don't like seeing white men with Korean women AS A RULE, you are making big generalizations and are being racist when you speak/act negatively against them. Yeah, one can quote statistics about "outmarriage" rates or the myriad alleged "wrong reasons" people get into relationships; but I know gentlemen who prefer blondes or redheads, girls who wear skimpy clothes, or just judge women by the size of their mammaries, but you'd have to go and ask about those, right?Or authority figures, as in the 5-7 female nurses and a few other female secretaries in her office, and just a few older, male doctors.